2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
