You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my shit smells like andre
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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