Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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