woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
