i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
