just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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