He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize