You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
