Come see our sink grown plant.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
