All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
