Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
