wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
