ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
