I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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