we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
