Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
