well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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