I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
