Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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