I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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