He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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