garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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