You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
