He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
