so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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