..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
