the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
