Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
