Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Less talking, more tequila
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize