Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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