I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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