therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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