You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
