he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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