she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
two words...techno handjob
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
