My underwear smells like fireworks.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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