I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
