Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
