Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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