my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My feet surprised me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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