i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
