ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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