It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
