: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
