she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
where are my eyebrows?
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