Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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