Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
