I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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