I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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