it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
