it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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