Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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