I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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