How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
