WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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