That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
