Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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