bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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