clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
