They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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