May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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