Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Couch. On fire.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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