She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How external is "for external use only"?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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