Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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